With a large portion of the workforce on PTO this week for the holiday, here’s how to act at Thanksgiving based on the performance of your favorite football team:
North Carolina
“Honey this looks perfect. The kids are beautiful, Mom and Dad are here, the staff did a wonderful job with the turkey and the presentation, we have that great Chardonnay left over from tailgating. Well, not from tailgating, but I mean from before we watched the game from home. You’ve really outdone yourself. Okay, come stand by me and hold the turkey like you’re just bringing out of the kitchen to the table. I know, hilarious. But no one will think otherwise when they see this picture. Alright everyone, take your places. Wait. Dad. What the hell? Beige? DAMN IT. We said WHITE. Everyone was going to wear WHITE. Oh, just one little blemish that no one will notice, huh? Sort of the like South Carolina game? You saw where that got us. DO NOT PUT THE PLATE DOWN, HONEY, JUST KEEP HOLDING IT. JORDAN MICHAEL YOU GET YOUR DAMN ELBOWS OFF OF THE TABLE, AND I SWEAR TO GOD MIA FETZER IF YOU GET OUT OF THAT CHAIR ONE MORE WAIT IT’S ABOUT TO TAKE THE PICTURE EVERYONE SMILE.”
NC State
“Thank you for this food, and for this wonderful family. Please help us all to remember to give thanks today for the special things in our lives. And please guide the NCAA in bringing down those cheaters in Chapel Hill once and for all, preferably before Saturday.”
Duke
“You guys eat with out me, I’m full.”
ACC Replay Referees
“TOUCHDOWN!”
