The best part of being a sports fan in North Carolina is that you probably work with an office full of fans with conflicting allegiances. Every week, we take a look at how you should act around your co-workers based on how your team did over the weekend, using the magic of stock business images.
Duke
Man, you have to give some credit to Virginia Tech. Those guys fight so hard, and let’s be honest, they actually have some talent on that team. I expect pretty soon they’ll be able to win those types of games against superior opponents, especially when they get just a few more playmakers.
That’s the kind of stuff you need to be laying down in the office today, Duke fans. All that stuff you heard for years from other teams? Yeah, give it back. Today is not a day for bragging. Not because you need to be humble after Virginia Tech took you to four overtimes when you had the game locked up in the 3rd quarter, but because today is the day for handing out condescending pats on the head because your team is 6-1 and bowl eligible for the 4th straight year. “But you haven’t won a bowl game in like 50 years,” doesn’t even deserve a reply. Just hit ’em with a pat on the shoulder and a “Whatever makes you feel better, sport.”
Oh, by the way, bowl tickets are on sale already. Just have this page up on your screen all day.
East Carolina
Late Night with Roy was dope. TAR!!!!
North Carolina
Everything is coming up Tar Heel. Six wins. Defense is playing so much better than last year. Offense is rolling along. Big game against your rival that might decide the divisional championship is going to be played in Kenan. College Gameday might even be there. All those questions about Larry Fedora after the first game of the season are gone and he’s finally looking like a coach that can build a proven winner. Recruits love his fun offense and his charisma. In fact, he’s doing so well that he’s starting to show up on “Who could be in line to replace _________” lists in Sports Illustrated and USA Today, among others. Wait, why are people even talking about that? He’s happy in Chapel Hill, right? If he left, Chizik would be the head coach, so we’d be okay. Unless Chizik wants to go somewhere else. Would our school pay to keep everyone here? Or would they see this as an opportunity to put more emphasis on academics? Oh my God, did we get too good?
North Carolina State
Hey, you beat Wake in Winston-Salem for the first time since 2001. That first quarter? Ridiculous. Who cares that you sleepwalked through the rest of the game, that thing was over 10 minutes in. After two weeks of probably getting absolutely slammed around the office from UNC and Duke co-workers, you finally get to enjoy today. Clemson’s coming to town this weekend, so there’s absolutely nothing to lose. Today should feel like a breath of fresh air for you. Enjoy it, State fan. Just be happy.
Wake Forest
You guys may be among the most delusional when it comes to the future of your programs, but there is no one in college sports more self-aware about the present. All week long there was talk of “the streak” against NC State, but you knew what was going to happen. And if there’s one thing we know about State fans, fear and dread makes them feel alive. So even though your team lost, stroll into the office today and collect all that cash you made off of your pessimistic-ass State co-workers who bet you that Wake would cover, or maybe even win straight up. And take your winnings directly to the News and Record and buy a full page #ClawsonOut ad in the sports section and go hire Lane Kiffin.
