For as long as “official Twitter accounts” have been a thing, the geniuses behind the Panthers’ social media team have been at the top of the game. But much like the Panthers themselves who have largely gone unnoticed as a truly elite team until the last two weeks, America has been late to the party on Twitter as well.
In August of 2015, the Panthers’ official account had only 491,000 followers on Twitter, good for 18th in the NFL. From SportsChannel8 viewer and friend Jon Kimball (@jonkimball), the Panthers now have 1.1 million followers, checking in at 5th place in the NFL, and likely to pass the Green Bay Packers over the next two weeks.
In the biggest game of his career, Panthers’ linebacker Luke Kuechly pulled down the interception, raced across the field into the end zone, and then calmly celebrated with his fans, handing out high fives and even helping to make sure a man was okay after he flipped over the railing leaning down to thank his hero for the exclamation point touchdown.
Hours earlier in Denver, linebacker Von Miller had parents everywhere flipping off of their couches lunging for the remote while he celebrated a sack on Tom Brady by gyrating his hips with one arm raised and the other hand cupping his privates.
This is nothing new for the “me-first” Miller who has been reprimanded previously by the NFL for his suggestive sack dances, and is well know for wearing outrageous outfits in the locker room during media availability.
Miller, who played his college football at Texas A&M, is a tremendous talent and one of the top linebackers in the NFL, but his act is growing old among his peers across the league. In a bit of foreshadowing, Panthers’ quarterback spotted an A&M “12th Man” flag near the railing of Bank of America stadium following his Divisional round win over Seattle, grabbed the flag from the fan, and tossed it to the turf in a strong statement against the former Aggie great’s antics.
With a two-week wait before the Super Bowl, buckle up and get ready for a barrage of stories and tweets about class in the NFL. Fortunately, here in North Carolina, we’ll be insulated from most of that noise. That’s the benefit of being home to the classiest team in the NFL.
The Carolina Panthers started their season off with four straight wins before the Week 5 bye. They won two of those games by two scores, but it’s safe to say, the team had yet to hit their stride by early October. After each of those first four games, though, my good friend and I would jokingly text after the wins, and — dripping with irony — say this team was destined to go 19-0 and win the Super Bowl.
Most of this was said in jest, but about halfway through the season, it became apparent just how legit this team was; I started planning a trip to Vegas to challenge my luck, but then I quickly came back to my senses. Well, the undefeated season went out the window several weeks ago, but the latter goal — winning the freaking Super Bowl — still remains a possibility. I always thought Cam Newton would get this team to this juncture; I just didn’t think it would be this season. But…here we are.
Last week for this post, I kept it southern with a classic number from Big Boi; the Panthers are the NFC South champs, so we’re going to stick with the Third Coast, baby, the day before the title game, too.
Killer Mike, who is a god, is from Atlanta — as is College Park Cam — so he’s next on the docket. Right before he teamed up with El-P to form Run The Jewels, the two collaborated on Mike’s most recent and amazing solo album: R.A.P. Music. Stat Boi’s track of the week: “Southern Fried” by Killer Mike. Enjoy:
Once again, just like last week, take it away, 3 Stacks: “The South got something to say.” I’ll be in the joint Sunday night — I somehow lucked into a ticket last minute. See you guys there. Go Panthers.
As the Carolina Panthers march towards the Super Bowl (I can’t believe I just typed that sentence), a lot of fans — and mediaoutlets — have turned towards music to express their excitement and appreciation of the team.
This week, however, we’ve been incredibly #blessed to receive MULTIPLE rap tracks dedicated towards our beloved Panthers. Now, the only thing that needs to be decided: Who Did it Better?
Option A: Ked Woodley, “Dominate The Foe”
Behind door No. 2, Option B: Petey Pablo: “Carolina Colors”
(But, I mean, come on, we know who the champ is, though.)
This was the response I got from a buddy, who hails from nearby Mount Olive, NC, when I notified him that Petey was back, giving the streets what they need:
Welcome back to work, SC8 viewers. Here’s how you should act today in the office based on how your team did this weekend … through the magic of stock business photos (some including the watermark, get over it).
North Carolina
Go crazy, Tar Heel fans. Coming off of your most successful stretch of the season (a.k.a. three straight Duke losses), today is your day to gloat. Yeah, you didn’t look all that great against NC State, but how ’bout those Devils, right? Oh! And Oklahoma lost last night so you’ll be number one when the next poll hits if you take care of business this week. So make sure to point that out to anyone and everyone, and don’t be afraid to use your middle finger to do it.
Duke
“Okay who else wants to talk to me about handshakes or clocks or referees? Nobody? Didn’t think so.”
NC State
It’s going to be a long week for you at the office, State fans. Not only do you have to worry about hearing it from Carolina fans, you’re going to be busy with the rest of #NCStateTwitter complaining about bad calls from the referees … in a game that doesn’t tip off until Saturday. Brace yourselves, winter is coming.
Wake Forest
We’re back.
Panthers
Okay, full disclosure … she’s sneezing. But it kind of looks like when white people dab anyway, so we’re covered here.
Seahawks
It’s okay, Russell Wilson fan from North Carolina who is just now realizing the error of your ways. I’m sure this comes in adult sizes too.
“Yooo I loved that dude when he played Toby on The Office!”
(Pictured above: B.oB. — who will be performing at halftime of the Panthers game this week, Big Boi — who is the best person alive, and Future — who is the father of a child with Ciara, who is currently and happily dating Russell Wilson. I assume they’re all laughing about Macklemore. Also, there’s definitely dirty Sprite in that Vitamin Water cup.)
So…did anyone hear about a football game taking place down in Charlotte this weekend? Perhaps? Well…COME ON DOWN, SEAHAWKS.
Ever since Blair Walsh wanked that chip shot last Sunday, I’ve been brooding about the playoff draw of the Panthers: You win 15 games, lock up home field advantage, and your reward is this monster effing defense who has won seven of eight freaking games. Oh, and of course Skittles is back in the lineup, too. WHERE’S THE JUSTISE?
The last time these two teams met, I was out in Denver, visiting friends — most of whom hail from North Carolina and love their Panthers — and doing cool things. We sat at the bar, and lost our damn cookies after Greg Olsen hauled in the game winner. I just wanna get back to that feeling, man.
Now, for the first time in 120 hours, I feel tentatively confident in Sunday’s game; a lot of that is me just rationalizing how this match-up isn’t as disastrous for Carolina as all the prognosticators continue to harp on. My god, they won’t stop harping. Their harping is relentless. But the remainder of my recent morale surge came from listening to one of my favorite songs of 2010, which doubles as Stat Boi’s track of the week — “General Patton” by Big Boi. You want to get right before 1:05 p.m.? This jam is for you.
“The South got something to say.” See you guys on Sunday; lets do this thing. Go Panthers.
The Carolina Panthers play in the Divisional Round of the NFL playoffs Sunday at 1pm on FOX. It is not enough for you merely to pull for the Panthers, we must implore you to also viscerally despise the Seattle Seahawks. To help prepare you for this task, we have enlisted the help of Brett Thompson, whose picture we didn’t include lest you make fun of his outfit. Also be sure to check out our Behind Enemy Lines piece on the Seahawks, when Andrew Batchelor wrote about a visit to see the Panthers win in Seattle.
The Carolina Panthers and the Seattle Seahawks are gearing up to play their sixth game against each other in four seasons. With such frequent dust-ups comes both great familiarity and bad blood. After more than three years of seeing these guys, I can safely say it:
I hate the Seattle Seahawks. A lot. I hate their stupid colors and their stupid fans and their stupid uniforms and their stupid Macklemore. I hate their stupid refusal to acknowledge that the sound they make is because of acoustics. I hate their 9/11 truther coach who gets away with not putting his star running backs on the field in championship games (has anybody seen Pete Carroll and Larry Fedora in the same room, btw?). I wish they would move to Los Angeles.
A good portion of Panthers fans hate them, too. If you’re not quite sure if you’re ready to invest so much negative energy into a team all the way across the country from you, here’s a quick guide to justify it.
THE FRANCHISE:
The Seahawks are owned by Paul Allen, a John Clayton lookalike and Microsoft co-founder. That’s an appropriate thing to note considering that Russell Wilson’s “MVP” campaign was a Windows 95 PC to the finely tuned MacBook Pro that was Cam Newton in
Hey, look, it’s not Steve Jobs or Bill Gates
2015. Paul Allen’s net worth is $17.4 billion, which means you would have to hit the highest jackpot in Powerball history more than SEVENTEEN times to be as rich as him. Asshole.
The franchise itself is currently enjoying its first real renaissance. The Seahawks made it to their first Super Bowl in 2005 after 29 years in the league, two years after the Panthers’ Super Bowl appearance at the age of nine. Since then, the Seahawks have made the NFL Playoffs seven times, including four consecutive years under Russell Wilson. In that time, their popularity has skyrocketed, resulting in the most obnoxious fanbase in the NFL.
THE FANS:
I hate this guy more than he looks like he hates himself
Imagine if St. Louis Cardinals fans had a football teamthey cared about. Seahawks fans pride themselves on being the best in football, and will totally remind you of that fact at any moment’s notice. They’re not just fans, they’re PART OF THE TEAM.
No, seriously. The franchise has gone on to completely pander to these Starbucks-swilling hipsters and embrace the “12thMan” nicknamethey stole from Texas A&M. They passionately refer to themselves as “12s,” because of course they do. In 1984, Seahawks President Mike McCormack retired the number 12 for the years of hard work, dedication, sweat and performance of… Seahawks fans.
It gets worse. The number 12 being retired hasn’t stopped Seahawks fans from wearing their own jersey, and from 2013-14, it cracked the top ten highest-selling in the league. THOUSANDS of adults paid $79.99 shamelessly wear the name “Fan” on their back. They must be stopped.
Stop it. Stop it all of you. For the love of everything good and right in this world please look at yourself in the mirror and see what you have become. Look at that neon green “We Are 12” flag in your hand. Look at that fictional player jersey you are wearing. Look at those Bose headphones around your neck blaring Thrift Shop. None of this is okay and you should feel bad about yourself. I hate you until you can fully understand what kind of monster you have turned into.
(note: As insufferable as they are, a man wearing an actual jersey with his own name on the back still reigns as king.)
THE PLAYERS:
There are plenty of Seahawks players who are polarizing at best, but there is one man in particular who stands out among the rest of them.
I hate Russell Wilson.
With a fiery passion that shouldn’t be reserved for another human being. If Darren Rovell were an elusive athlete with a horseshoe lodged firmly up his ass, he would be Russell Wilson. Wilson is a walking stereotype of what fans always dreamed of as the ideal likeable athlete until we realized how freaking unbearable the act is.
And it sucks, because by all accounts Russell Wilson should be a fantastic guy. In any other context, he should be cheered. Glorified. Praised. He’s an upstanding man with clear values and blah blah blah I HATE HIM.
“Would you like a sports cliche? I knew you would.”
Wilson is not only a frustratingly talented player, but he’s also a great philanthropist for the Seattle area. This is public knowledge, because no hospital visit goes untweeted.
Wilson is undoubtedly a polarizing figure in the Triangle, which is why it’s important to remember why Wilson could actually bring us all together and unite fans of each university alike:
North Carolina fans:Oh this guy. How frustrating is it to watch Wilson go off on your team for three years, transfer so you NEVER have to see him again, and he end up right back on the opposing side of a rivalry to haunt your favorite team for YEARS to come? To date, your favorite team is an astounding 1-7 against Wilson, and that one win came by a sheer superhuman effort by Cam Newton in the last minute of a game that you already turned off because you refused to watch Russell Wilson tell you God wanted his team to win more than yours. *exhales* He is your Kryptonite. He is Marcus Paige at your PNC Arena. He is the Chapel Hill to your Clemson. He is Michael Myers. No matter how many times you think you’ve killed him, he comes back, more unwatchable than ever. He is your archnemesis. Hate him almost equally as much as you love your Tar Heels and Panthers.
NC State fans:Even you guys don’t want him anymore, and that’s after YEARS of debate between Wolfpack and Badger fans. Why would you? He believes in Recovery Water. He, uh, Ciara. Sure, he’s like the greatest modern athlete to come out of N.C. State. Yeah, he beat North Carolina a lot when he was in Raleigh. Duh, he wanted to stay until Tom O’Brien pushed him away. Don’t let those good memories of your ex overshadow why you left each other in the first place. He is the enemy now. He even stopped his post-Carolina teleconference tradition of ending with a “Go Pack, Go Hawks.” HE HATES YOU NOW. Turn on him. Join us. Burn that bridge and never look back. #trader.
Duke fans:Wilson represents the very last of an era where it seemed every Triangle program except your team was somewhat relevant. It wasn’t an immediate shift, but after Wilson left, your team has posted the following records: 3-9, 6-7, 10-4, 9-4 and 8-5. Given how loudly Wilson wears his religion on his sleeve, it’s worth wondering whether there’s any coincidence that the Devils got stronger in his absence. Really makes you think.
Russell Wilson is a natural foil to your quarterback savior, Cam Newton. Newton celebrates, Wilson celibates. Newton is chastised publicly, Wilson publicly undergoes chastity. Newton is MADE, Wilson is Created. Newton is on his #pinnacle, Wilson is Pentecostal*. Newton does Beats commercials with 2 Chainz, Wilson does Bose commercials with Macklemore. These two were destined to feud. They’re Bret “Hitman” Hart and “Stone Cold” Steve Austin: A traditional hero and the way-cooler-and-better anti-hero.
Keep Pounding and for the love of God, beat Seattle.
